"God gave man two ears but only one mouth that he might hear twice as much as he speaks.” -Epictetus, Greek philosopherListening is a very important trait that many people believe they posses, but the reality is very few people use it effectively. Listening isn't just something you do with your ears. In order to fully hear what other people have to say you have to comprehend it as well. How good is listening to someone's ideas, thoughts, or feelings if you don't understand what they are saying? When we are young we are taught how to speak but not how to listen. That is why it doesn't really surprise me when I come across people who cannot communicate properly. The most important thing that all relationships require is communication. If you are a bad listener then you are a bad communicator, and that is not how to live an efficient life. So here are some things that I came up with in order to give you a better understanding on how to be a good, efficient listener. A lot of people are unaware of their bad listening skills, so if you see something that you don't currently do then try it the next time someone speaks to you and see if you perceive the information that they are telling you more clearly.
- Have an open mind when someone walks up to you and begins to talk. You never know what they are going to say, and it's best to prepare yourself mentally before they start. It will be harder for you to get caught off guard that way, and you will be able to prepare a better response.
- Look at people right in the eye if you are talking to them face to face. It makes you look confident, and you can focus on their body language in order to asses if what they are saying is what they are really feeling.
- Don't be rude and cut someone off while they are expressing their views or feelings. You will never get the entire picture of what they are trying to convey if you don't let them finish what they're saying. It's never right to assume if you don't hear the full story.
- Imagine what they are telling you. This is really important if someone is giving you directions because you are able to visualize what they want you to do. When it's time for you to do the task it will be more easier because you've already thought about what you're going to do and how you're going to do it.
- Give them a sign that you are listening. You can do it visually, by nodding your head or verbally by saying "yes" or "ok". Once people know that you're listening, they will feel more open to divulge information to you.
- Asking questions is not only a good way to reconfirm that you are listening to them, but to also gain more knowledge for yourself. The more you know the better you can communicate.
- Confirm the information you have received to make sure that you have all of your facts right. That way if you internalized the information wrong, you can fix it then and there. That saves you from a world of miscommunication problems.
- Learn to stop listening. Now I didn't know this until I did research for this post, but it makes sense. Sometimes you have to know when to stop listening when it seems like people are taking advantage of you and your willingness to listen. For example, it's not wise to gossip or listen to negative things. You don't want people to think that you were taking part in spreading rumors all because you were just listening to others spread rumors. You also don't want to listen to negative things because you don't want other people to plant a seed of negativity that can affect your whole outlook on life. It's a judgement call that you have to make.
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